My Uncle Jimmy died years before I was born. His given name was James, but I never heard anyone call him that. He was the 'gold star' of the family. Literally. Jimmy died near Okinawa when a Japanese plane slammed itself into his Navy ship. In 1989, "Reader's Digest" published a story about The USS Mullany and even added a photo of the kamikaze pilot. My family bought every copy of that month's "Reader's Digest" from every magazine stand in Queens. My dad and my uncles gave the magazines to everyone in the family. "Here... read this.... read what they did to our Jimmy."
During World War II, my grandparents' four sons were fighting overseas. Jimmy and Carmine were in the Navy, my dad was in the Army, Tony was in the Marines. They all came back except for Jimmy. The gold star stayed in the front window of my grandparents' house for nearly 20 years after the war ended. After that, one of my aunts hung the gold star in the window of the third floor room where Jimmy slept as a boy.
When the War broke out, Jimmy didn't have to serve because he had a wife and two sons. He insisted on going, however, and his wife Mary had to sign a consent form because of the children. The family begged Mary not to sign. Jimmy begged Mary to "Sign! Sign! Dio mio, please sign!"
Mary signed the consent form. She became a widow, her sons lost their father, the family never forgave her. She stayed within the family circle, she never re-married, she was invited to every family party until the day she died, but the family never ever truly forgave her for signing those papers. I think my grandfather was the only one who understood why Jimmy wanted to enlist. His brothers had enlisted.... Jimmy didn't feel right not going. Grandpa said that Jimmy wanted to "Be an American all the way," and that meant enlisting with his then-unmarried brothers.
When the Japanese plane slammed into Uncle Jimmy's ship near Okinawa, there was no body to send back to NY for burial. The men who died on that ship were "buried" right there, and there has since been a memorial erected in Pearl Harbor for all the soldiers who perished. My Uncle Tony went to Hawaii and took pictures of the memorial, but his brothers and sisters didn't want to look at the photographs. I remember my dad saying "That fancy memorial won't bring Jimmy back."
Jimmy's two sons (Anthony and Frankie) have both passed away now, and so has Jimmy's wife Mary. Frankie was my godfather when I was baptized. He didn't talk much about his father because he was such a young boy when his father died and he probably didn't remember much. Jimmy's wife Mary had a photograph of her smiling Navy husband... she kept it in her bedroom always, as if he had just gone into service and would be coming home on leave in a few months.
Mary was always aware that the family never really forgave her for "letting" Jimmy enlist in the Navy. Aunt Mary always went to the family baptisms, confirmations, birthdays, weddings.... she would sit at the table with her sisters-in-law and try to make herself invisible for the most part. My mother invited Aunt Mary to my birthday parties when I was a little kid, before I started first grade. In my parents' house, my mother made sure to give Aunt Mary a place of honor at the dining room table. She made it clear that she didn't blame Mary for Jimmy's death.
It was always hard for my aunts and uncles to talk about Uncle Jimmy. When Reader's Digest published that article, it brought World War II right into my grandparents' kitchen all over again, as if it were still going on. A copy of that magazine stayed open to the article and was left on the dining room table for almost five years, only being moved when the family gathered for a Sunday dinner or a holiday get-together. After everyone went home, the magazine would once again be put on that table. One of my uncles had given Jimmy's wife Mary a copy of that Reader's Digest. Her sons said she put the magazine in a little plastic bag and set it in front of Jimmy's Navy photograph, never once opening the magazine to read the article. When my dad told me that, I said Mary didn't have to read the article, she was living it every day.
My dad gave me a copy of that issue of Reader's Digest when it was first published. I've read the story a few times over the years.... I've looked at the photograph of the kamikaze pilot. The pilot looks very young in the pictures, and was probably about the same age as Uncle Jimmy and all the other young sailors on the USS Mullany.
Aunt Mary passed away nearly 45 years after her husband Jimmy. For all of Mary's years as part of the family, she tried not to be too much trouble, not to say anything that would upset my grandparents. As Aunt Mary got older and some of her church friends started to pass away, she decided not to cause the family any more grief than necessary when her own time came.
With that in mind, Aunt Mary got a big flat dress box that would fit under her bed. Into that box, she put the dress she wanted to be buried in, complete with slip, stockings, shoes, gloves, even a small hat and her favorite Rosary beads. She told both of her sons, and all of her sisters-in-law, that the box was there and all ready "when the time came." Mary made it clear that everything in that box was to go with her or on her when they put her in the casket.
When Aunt Mary passed away, peacefully in her sleep, her sons took the box out from under her bed. They found all the clothes and the shoes and the Rosary beads........ and they also found the Navy photo of their father, and her copy of that Reader's Digest all wrapped up in a little plastic bag.
Everyone in the family went to Mary's funeral. I'd like to think that they had finally, blessedly, forgiven her.
No comments:
Post a Comment