The family story has always been that when my grandmother gave birth to this girl-baby, my grandfather left the house and spent two nights and three days at his brother's house. He just couldn't believe that his wife had given birth to a girl. He wanted sons who would eventually work in his construction and building business. Until 1913, grandma had given grandpa boy-babies... this was the first girl and grandpa was not happy.
Grandma named the baby girl Eleanora, which was eventually Americanized to Eleanor. When grandpa's brother finally convinced him to go home and see his wife and new baby, grandpa immediately fell in love with the tiny baby who looked up at him and smiled. Without giving apologies for his three-day absence, my grandfather said to my grandmother.... "This baby, she's so delicate, like a fine porcelain dolly." The name stuck.... the baby girl became Dolly to everyone who knew her, for all of her life.
In her teens, Dolly learned how to hand-sew beads onto women's clothing and handbags. She had an innate sense of design and a flair for fashion, and that talent gave her an income during The Depression. Most New York women couldn't afford such accessories, but the Park Avenue ladies with spending money to spare didn't have to worry about limited budgets.
During her 20s, Dolly was working for a book publishing company that specialized in encyclopedia sets and bibles. With her instinctive charm and overwhelmingly beautiful and petite appearance, Dolly could sell anything to anyone, and her employees recognized that. They sent Dolly all over the U.S. to train their selling staff..... she gave lessons on proper manners and good grooming, and taught the sales people how to 'sell without over-selling.'
While Dolly was in California, she met a blue-eyed blond Irish man named Roy. It was love at first sight for Roy..... it wasn't long after meeting Dolly that he wanted to marry his "Little Doll." The wedding was planned down to the last detail...... Dolly made her wedding gown and her veil (all hand-beaded, of course) and she even designed her bouquet.... an ethereal vision of white flowers and ribbons. From the tip of her wedding tiara to the toes of her beaded shoes, Dolly was the ultimate description of a beautiful blushing bride.
Dolly loved Roy with all of her heart until he committed an unforgivable offence... he cheated on her with another woman. Heart-broken beyond belief, Dolly arranged to leave California and return to New York. I don't know if Roy tried to get her back.... the family never talked about that very much and I've never asked Aunt Dolly for details. Aunt Dolly never got over Roy, in my opinion. She never talked badly about him, except to say that he 'made an unforgivable mistake.' She and Roy never had children, and Dolly never re-married. The few times that Dolly took out her wedding picture to show anyone, she would let her finger rest ever so gently on Roy's shoulder or on his arm, as if that gentle touch would make everything right again.
When Dolly left California all those years ago, she returned to her parents' house. She took care of her parents, and she took care of her brothers and sisters till they left the house and got married, and then she took care of their children whenever she could. Her nieces and nephews became as close to her as they were to their parents. Dolly was everyone's favorite aunt, and she made every child feel as if they were her favorite also. Aunt Dolly's eyes would light up whenever any of us came to our grandparents' house....... "There you are! How beautiful you look!" When the girls became teenagers and started wearing heels, Aunt Dolly would meet us at the door to examine our shoes. "You're going to ruin my floors with those shoes!" But she said it with a hug and a smile, so we either took off our shoes or walked on tip-toes.
During the 1940s and 1950s, Dolly attended the weddings of her brothers and sisters. During the 1960s, she watched as all but one of those marriages ended in either separation or divorce. Her sisters and brothers would urge Dolly to go out on the town, meet some new people, maybe find another husband. Her answer was always the same: "I got married once. It didn't work."
Before the 1970s were over, Dolly had to arrange funerals for both of her parents. The house was left to Dolly because she wasn't married and my grandparents wanted her to "have something." What Dolly had was a three story house with a full basement, sitting on a double-sized plot of land with two driveways and a three-car garage... in the middle of a Queens neighborhood that had seen better days. Her brothers and sisters all knew that those better days would never come back, and Dolly knew that she could never leave "the house that Papa built."
It wasn't until 2007 that Dolly finally moved out of that house and out of the state. One of her nephews convinced her to move to Florida with him... he told her she'd be safe, happy, and taken care of. Her answer to him was "Who's going to take care of Papa's house?" No one had the heart to tell her that the house that was home to The Family since the day it was built would ultimately be sold to someone else. "Papa always said that no one besides our family should ever own this house." What Aunt Dolly didn't know at the time she said that was that grandpa's wish for his house would indeed come true. The house never sold and is empty and forlorn to this very day.
Aunt Dolly celebrated her 100th birthday this year. She has not only arranged funerals for her parents, but has attended the funerals of five brothers and two sisters, along with brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, and two nephews. Only two of my grandparents' twelve children are alive today... Dolly and one younger sister.
My husband recently asked Aunt Dolly what her secret was for living such a long and healthy life. Her reply was "Think good. Be good. Do good. Be kind. Be nice. Be fair." Her secret must work..... at 100 years of age, she takes no medication and makes no excuses. She "straightens up" after the cleaning lady leaves the house in Florida, and she walks up and down a 21-step staircase every day for exercise. Still with a flair for fashion, Aunt Dolly doesn't sit with company until she has fixed her hair, put on lipstick, and is dressed for the day. She is still well-spoken, graceful, and beautiful.
Aunt Dolly taught our generation a lot of little lessons over the years. She insisted that we all play nice with one another. Aunt Dolly taught us that good manners and good grooming would take us anywhere in the world... that we should always wear the best shoes we could afford.... that we shouldn't follow clothing trends but we should invest in classics. Aunt Dolly believed that there was always "room for more" at the dining room or kitchen table, and she told us constantly that things purchased in a store would never be more valuable than Family. One of her favorite sayings is "Don't bring a gift, bring yourself... what could be better than you?"
Aunt Dolly has always been, and still is, one of a kind. Without a husband and children of her own, she gave all of her love to her parents, her brothers and sisters, and her nieces and nephews. Without one of Aunt Dolly's homemade cakes, we just didn't feel our birthdays were complete. The delicious food she cooked for so many people for so many decades spoiled us all to the point that not one Italian restaurant in the state of New York was ever good enough. She always kept "Papa's house" company-ready... her pride-of-place in her home was always beyond measure. One would think that Dolly's life-time of taking care of everyone else first would have made her angry and bitter. Quite the contrary... Aunt Dolly says this about her first century--- "I am the richest and the luckiest person in the world because I have such a big family who loves me."
I believe that Aunt Dolly's greatest legacy to our family is her own belief that "Family is forever.... just like love."
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